Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
