So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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