people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize