she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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