to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
