I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
