i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize