Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize