normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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