i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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