Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
