See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
