how hairy? two words: wookie tits
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
