so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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