Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
