This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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