If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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