well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
