I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I believe in your delicious
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
