He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
