My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
