awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize