I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
