let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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