if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
