ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish you could order shots online.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
