I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
