Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
