Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
pray to the hookup gods
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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