I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
worst night to have a conscience
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
