so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
