so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
