He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
