it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
