Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
