just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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