Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
