And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This baby is an asshole
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
