i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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