Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
