She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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