i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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