Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
