does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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