I must be too annoying 4 u.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
