the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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