just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
