Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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