There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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