if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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