also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
