New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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