I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
