Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want a musical about memes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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