found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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