there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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