is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
