She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
