people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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