seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize